THE OFFICIAL ALL MY CHILDREN
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All My Children Commentary
June 7, 2010
Calling All Lawyers, Paralegals and Folks Smarter Than I Am…
After having just bubbled to Scott about how thrilled she is to be living the high life as a Chandler without all of that ‘having Adam as my husband’ mess, Annie was blind-sided by Karen Kelly writing in her blog that she is a pathological liar, a home-wrecker, mentally ill and a murderer. Annie and Scott immediately started screaming “BAWK!!! Libel!!! BAWK!!” like angry parrots and Scott angrily poked at his phone, disappearing into private talking quarters unknown. How fun was THAT??!
I am sure that once legal hairs start getting split, there are many levels and conditions, but a preliminary – and rather lazy - search leads to the following unofficial definition: “Libel: A false publication, as in writing, print, signs, or pictures that damages a person's reputation.”
The key word here, I believe, is “false.” Although not brought up on charges, Annie IS a murderer and even minor Scooby Doo-level investigating could likely prove this to be true. She IS known to be a home-wrecker by many people who can confirm, if asked, that she had an affair with a married man who she continues to pursue. That one is also a fact. She IS a pathological liar and that is clearly documented, I am sure, in her mental health records (which are roughly the size of your average SUV), as is the fact that she has been - and I am being generously optimistic by using that past tense - severely mentally ill. A person who shows up in front of a mob of people in a bloody wedding dress after stabbing a local celebrity in the ladies room a few minutes before, still holding the knife, even, probably doesn’t cast a heavy line of doubt on whether or not they are mentally ill. Interesting, they are, and also mentally ill.
Was it libel? Smarter, more intelligent people than I am have to tell me. To me, it sounds more like responsible reporting. After reading what was written, Annie could just as easily have set down her phone, said, “Hunh. Yep, she pegged me” and called the waiter over to order dessert to go with her lunch. How “in yo’ FACE” would THAT have been to JR? Self-awareness is critical to pull off the full on crazy. Crazy is far better when you walk the talk. Let your crazy be the tail that wags the dog. I know I do.
I did think Marissa’s threat to Annie to stay away from JR was completely cute. It was like watching a kitten bat at the face of a bulldog. Precious.
Despite the fact that I have never been a big Greenlee fan, I think I have finally put my finger on why I have such an appreciation for the David-Greenlee marriage. To me, Greenlee is the first relationship David has had since I have been watching where it seemed like he can completely be himself. In all of his others, especially with Dixie and Krystal, he was forced to put up a front and only reveal part of his personality, being very careful to subdue the other shadow sides of himself. He came close to this kind of full Davidness with Anna, especially in the beginning of their interesting courtship, but with Greenlee, she knows him and accepts him for exactly what he is. She actually applauds the darker side of him much of the time. Even when she IS actually reacting to something he has done (such as when she realized that he was also worried about Erica’s plane crashing), you get the feeling she’s not even really all that surprised.
Erica’s plane crashing… someone please hold my hand through this part of the story so I can have the strength to get through it. I have watched soaps for more than four decades and I flatter myself that I have a bit of a feel for the flow of their stories (and for the fact that the definition of libel likely doesn’t mean one thing). I know that this is part of the build up to another fascinating Erica romance. I just wish that Caleb did not come off as quite so, well, crazy. If you saw a woman with a blanket on her that was on fire, would you leap onto her like you were flying off of the top rope of a wrestling ring to make the final pin of the championship match or would you pick up the blanket, throw it on the floor and stomp on it? Especially if the woman weighs 70 pounds dripping wet and you’re basically a walking mountain?
I do realize that they are working hard to get to the whole love-hate dynamic. I know they are building up Caleb for the big reveal of what connections he has to Pine Valley (like so many others, my money is on Palmer – I never claimed to be original, just very, very earnest) and for him to suddenly turn up clean shaven and in an Armani suit in some boardroom. Such is the way with soaps. Tra la. Still, I’m not getting the grab I got when I first saw Chris Stamp in a janitor’s uniform cleaning Erica’s office. He did not take any of her princess crap and gave as good as he got when she was condescending to him. There was a spark there from the beginning and I rubbed my little mantis-like hands together eagerly and said, “Oooh. This is going to be gooood.”
The christening of the maiden voyage of the SS CalErica is not nearly as smooth for me. It’s more as though I am pursing my old maid lips together and making my eyebrows go all wavy and saying, “Oooh. This is…creepy.”
I completely trust it is going to take off soon and be the love affair of the century, captivating my heart and absorbing my every ounce of attention. I also like to color rainbows on the walls with chalk, make paper palm trees out of my bill collection notices and draw unicorn shapes in my applesauce. Crazy doesn’t even start to cover it.
This column is written by Katrina Rasbold from www.eyeonsoaps.com. The opinions expressed herein are solely her own and are not reflective of the opinions of the Official AMC Fan Club, Debbie Morris, All My Children, ABC, the Girl Scouts of America, the National Rifle Association or your local Rotary Club.
If you would like to contact Katrina regarding this column, you may do so by emailing her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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