THE OFFICIAL ALL MY CHILDREN
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All My Children Commentary
May 30, 2010
The Lame, The Crazy and a Whole Lot of Pink
You know, I never thought I’d say it, but I totally agree with Marissa lately. Who knew? Her helplessness at the situation she is in is palpable and honestly, I am frowning sternly at JR for not taking his family away from the mansion. I understand the whole idea of how it’s the family’s legacy home and that he feels he needs to monitor Scott to make sure he doesn’t get any kind of business edge on him, but c’mon. When your marriage is on the line, you do whatever it takes and don’t hold back. He can monitor Scott from the board room just fine. If Chandler Mansion happened to be on fire, I’ll bet he’d leave quickly. In this case, Little Chandler’s marriage is on fire and he needs to stop throwing teaspoons of water at it and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
I loved that Marissa brought David into the picture. (Mystery solved: She calls him “Dad,” at least when she wants something.) Harnessing the bad in David to solve her problem with Annie is very resourceful of her, as is acknowledging her own limitations. (Not at all surprised she didn’t ask Krystal for advice on handling Annie.) I am eager to see what actions David is prepared to take to resolve the Annie problem. It should be fascinating. He is nothing if not creative and proactive in problem solving.
I actually cringed when Scott told Marissa that “Annie is a fact of life around here.” I can’t help but think that neither he nor Annie happened to be a fact of life anywhere near the Chandler mansion a year ago, so he has definitely velcroed on a set since Adam basically died and left him king. (See, JR? The house is burning down! GET OUT!) I am quite confident that there are many mansions to be had in Pine Valley and Junior needs to get himself one. We could pump up the irony and have him move into Palmer’s house. That way, AMC doesn’t have to chip in for a new set. (Did I mention that JR could use a new set?) Of course, if he’s living at Palmer’s, he can’t accidentally catch Annie prancing by his room to splash water on her face after her most recent seething session.
I do, however, take exception to Marissa sending AJ (I can’t help but think “Quartermaine” when I hear that) upstairs to find JR when she knew good and well he was hanging out with Annie. Although the stun effect on JR and Annie would be positively delightful, the lifelong scarring of poor baby AJ’s little psyche would result in even more therapy than JR can afford.
Speaking of oblivious little kids, what a delightful second party that must have been for Emma! Like Marissa, I have to wonder why the kid needed a second party with only adults who hate one another in attendance. They spent most of an episode standing around staring angrily at one another and baring their yellow fangs. The only bonus for Emma was the obvious: more presents.
Have any of you ever been to a child’s birthday party where the hostess/parent gave a speech? (“Thanks to all three of you for coming!!”) I haven’t. What was with the pronouncement Annie made of “Mommy picked out this present all by herself!” Does she usually have a team of consultants go with her when she buys crap for her kid? Oh I so do remember and miss when Annie was somewhat normal. Ryan, might go to bed alone every night now (for a change), but he does so thanking God he dodged that crazy bullet. Annie has gone from normal to absolutely crazy to being the sister-in-law no one ever wants to invite to any of the family functions. She has become less interesting and more hateful and mean. I was much more interested when she was shanking Erica in the ladies’ room and beaning people to death with tire irons, but then, I am also a big fan of both Janet Dillon and Leslie Coulson. Following this theme, I’m sure I would become much more into Marissa if she would just throw JR into the chest freezer to chill out or dress up on a dirty formal dress and ask Scott to take her to prom. No, I don’t ONLY like the crazy ones, but a swipe of crazy can sure wake up a boring character.
Lastly, that birthday was very, very *pink* and I really want that trick pink lemonade dispenser that they had. I would fill it with Heritage Dr. Pepper and go hide in my room for an afternoon, enjoying my caffeine and sugar high.
This column is written by Katrina Rasbold from www.eyeonsoaps.com. The opinions expressed herein are solely her own and are not reflective of the opinions of the Official AMC Fan Club, Debbie Morris, All My Children, ABC, the Girl Scouts of America, the National Rifle Association or your local Rotary Club.
If you would like to contact Katrina regarding this column, you may do so by emailing her at email@example.com.
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